Staring at Our Shoes
by Parchmental
Summary: All else aside, they'll be happy for the people who gave them everything. RoryJess.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: **I own my ideas. I do not own Gilmore Girls or anything relating to it

**Background Info: **Everything that happened on Gilmore Girls happened (unfortunately). Set _several _months after the end of season seven. All questions about what happened with Luke and Lorelai in these months will be answered through the story. Rory has been on the campaign trail, and has not had contact with Jess since she visited him at his bookstore in season six.

**A/N: **Read and review, I hope the story is up to snuff. This is not fluff, it has conflict and I try to keep it as true to Gilmore Girls and the characters as possible.

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"Ugh, I'm so happy," Lorelai groaned into the receiver of the phone as she sat at the kitchen table of her house spooning sugary cereal into her mouth.

"Well you sure sound it," Rory said dryly, confused by the tone of her mothers that betrayed what she was saying. She sorted through planners and papers as she held the phone under her ear.

"You know when everything is going so smoothly it sort of get's like okay bring on the pain so I don't have to worry. Like if the day before the wedding Charlie Manson jumps out of the bushes and I just merely escape him I would be less worried because the worst has happened."

"Not really. You seem to be taking your mere escape for granted."

"You are no help. So you're sure you'll be able to come for a couple weeks for the wedding?"

"Now that is a question you don't even need to ask. Can you believe how long it's been! Over half a year!" Rory squealed in disbelief. "Even if it wasn't for yours and Luke's wedding I'd be dying to come. Where are you having it?"

"Stars Hollow. Dur." Lorelai said as bewilderment crossed her face.

"Well thank you Captain Obvious, but where in Stars Hollow. Town square? House? Church? Diner? Kirk's mom's house?" Rory suggested as she awaited an answer.

"Well while the latter was our preferred choice, she just wouldn't allow it, so the town square is what we decided and we decided that I would walk into the gazebo which is where we'll say the I dos and what nots. Which we both decided makes sense since we do have some memories there. Our picnic during the bid-a-basket festival almost six years ago, after I proposed almost three years ago. I was considering the chuppah, but then given the history of Luke building it for me and some other guy, and it already being used by Sookie and Jackson, I just wasn't sure."

"I think the idea of the gazebo is sweet," Rory said with a small smile, a slight bittersweet nostalgia possessed her. "A special place that sort of belongs to you and the memories you shared and started there. Cute."

"Exactly," Lorelai said with proud appreciation.

Rory tried to recall a _place_ that actually symbolized something to her, built on memories. None came to her immediately, but then a bridge and picnic where no food was eaten crossed her mind…

A jolt hit Rory that quickly jogged her memory as she adopted nonchalance unnatural to herself to appear uninterested in her next question. "So has Luke said anything about who he wants to be the best man," As she asked the question she heard the distinct clash of a bowl to a floor through the phone.

"Ah crap, sorry hon. Damn bowl jumped of the table. Call me later." Lorelai said as she scrambled irately to the floor with a scowl.

"Well then I guess it deserves to be broken if it just goes jumping off tables like that. Tell Luke hi," Rory mumbled as she hung up the phone and dug through her desk for a small calendar that had 2 weeks blocked out for the wedding. Jess may or may not come, and may or may be best man. She wouldn't let anything sidetrack her from being happy for her mother, but a pang of guilt pulled at her stomach.

The look on his face as she walked out the door of Truncheon was ingrained in her mind.

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Jess looked through the small mail bin outside of Truncheon. He walked up the stairs and threw the mail on the mattress of the addressee. He flipped through a couple that he assumed were fees for the store till he got to one that caught his interest. He looked at the small card and a smile began to grace his face. The smile quickly turned into a smirk as he saw the words 'Luke and Lorelai' having a subtle glitter of bright pink. She could talk that guy into anything. He had to ask himself why invitations were even necessary for their wedding when a pig call out the window would do just as efficiently.

It did come as a small surprise to him that Lorelai would even consider to invite him. He really had no interest in returning to that four by four freak show. He knew who he would unavoidably see and for all he knew she could be married by now…the very thought made his insides squirm.

But if he went back for Liz, he definitely had to go back for Luke; no question about it. He searched around the floor for a phone; he found his cell and sat at the edge of his mattress as he dialed Luke's number.

"Hello?" A gruff voice barked, sounds of the diner in the background.

"Well congratulations…Mr. Gilmore."


	2. A Maid, a Matron, and a Kirk

**A/N:** Thanks reviewers for the reviews, that is my motivation to keep writing. Updates are also slightly dependent on reviews, I only want to continue if I know others want me to continue.

**Disclaimer:** Same as before

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Lorelai walked into the diner and scanned the area for Luke. She went up to the empty counter and took a seat next to Kirk. "Hey Kirk," she said with a beaming smile.

"Hello Lorelai," he said formally with a nod. "There has been a matter that I would like to discuss with you." Lorelai glanced over as Luke appeared and turned to listen to Kirk as he continued, "While you may find this a questionable proposal--"

"Aw, I'm taken Kirk, but thanks," Lorelai interjected with a laugh then looked at Kirk who remained silent and as lacking of a real expression as ever. "Eh, kidding…go on"

"Concerning the wedding of you two," he gestured to both Luke and Lorelai. Lorelei looked at him with curiosity, and Luke heaved a sigh and looked at him with impatience. "You would of course need a independent officiant, minister, etcetera… "

"Kirk--" Luke started.

"I am an independent officiant, minister, and or etcetera" Kirk said flatly. He looked from Lorelai who seemed to have a bemused smile stretch across her face to Luke who sighed once more. "I don't want to let my superior powers go to waste so this seems like a good time to test my powers to wed."

"Legally?" Lorelai questioned with a grin so wide it was clear the amount of laughter she was holding back.

"Yes, legally," Kirk answered, still blankly staring.

"I think you can field this one," Luke muttered to Lorelai.

There was a moment of silence then Lorelei looked from Luke who was slumped against the counter to Kirk who seemed to be awaiting the verdict. "Okay!"

"What!?!" Luke burst out in bewilderment.

"Sidebar," Lorelai said as she pulled Luke away a couple feet and lowered her voice. "I know the idea of Kirk marry us is dancing between the lines of slightly odd and 'I see the dead people', and hey maybe it should hardly even be legal."

"And having realized this…"

"Wouldn't it be cool!"

"Many adjectives come to mind, but cool is not one of them."

"Come on what makes a better wedding anecdote than 'Kirk married us'! I mean imagine this, bunch of people talking 'oh my groom left me for the best man', 'well my best man turned out to be the best transexual'. Pah! 'Kirk married us' and bam! The Trump Card of wedding anecdotes my friend."

Luke admitted defeat, "You are a loon."

Lorelai quickly kissed Luke and ran over to Kirk, "That would be super Kirk, March 20h."

"Okay. I will be practicing. Consider it my gift to the both of you," Kirk stated in a monotone with his fixed expression. He got up and silently walked out the door of the diner.

"Oh wow, do you think he's gonna be doing that happy dance now or later," Luke said sarcastically as he put a cup of coffee in front of her, "What a subliminal way of saying he's too broke to buy us an actual gift."

Luke walked towards the ringing phone on the wall and picked it up "Hello?"

He heard a relentlessly sarcastic voice on the other end, "Well congratulations…Mr. Gilmore."

"You called so I will consider that a victory on my part. You got the invite?"

"Obviously."

"And…"

"Sure," Jess said simply.

"Sure as in sure you'll come?" Luke confirmed in a slight confusion at the answer. Lorelai gestured wildly at Luke trying to get his attention. He heard Jess confirm that he's coming one more time before Luke told him to hold on as he switched his attention to Lorelai.

"I'm going over to Sookie's to make sure she can be a matron of honor. You're allowed to have a maid and matron of honor right?" Lorelai questioned as she put down her cup and picked up her purse.

Luke gruffly answered as he watched Kirk running after Lulu across the street, how Kirk ever got such a sweet girl to marry him he will never know "I think we're getting married by Kirk which puts us far past the point of worrying about wedding regularity anyway."

"Touche," she said brightly as she leaned over the counter, kissed him, and made her way out.

"Heard something along the lines of…married by Kirk?" questioned a baffled Jess.

"The world is a crazy place where any psychopath with a computer can be told they have the power to conduct a marriage," Luke raved. "Not my idea."

"Well at least you got your way on the invitations. The pink glitter was just lovely Lucas."

"Yeah well I pride myself on my taste," Luke said sarcastically as he exhaustedly plopped down on a barstool. "I wanted run something by you."

"Feel free to run, but I already feel like I don't like it," Jess said knowing this probably wouldn't be a request up his alley.

"Well Lorelai has her matron of honor, Sookie, and her maid of honor, Rory."

Jess subconsciously took a small recognition of a matron and a maid instead of two matrons and pushed forward not sure where this was going, "And…"

"And Jackson is…something, not entirely sure, but he walks Sookie down the aisle. Their kid, Martha is the flower girl, but April needs to carry her because well she's still a bit wobbly on the walk.

"And…"

"Lane is our usher, which we appreciate but could've done without really but she actually wanted to do it, imagine that. Their other kid Davey is the ring bearer, and of course we won't be giving him the real ring. We would give the real ring to the best man, which brings me to what I wanted to ask you."

"Ah," Jess said now understanding where this is going. "If you're all shy about asking Taylor, I'll ask him for you, because I would do that for you Luke," Jess said feigning ignorance to what he knew Luke was really getting at.

"Would you do it?"

"Ask Taylor? Sure"

"Jess."

"Luke."

"Listen--"

"You might just need a vice-best man in the event of bride murdering the first one"

"A promising plan I'll take into consideration. Jess it's a simple enough job, I'm not the bachelor party type so you don't have to worry about that. It's an easy job. But, believe it or not, I do want you to do it."

"Best man has to make a toast."

"Correct."

"I am a man of few words."

"Hey, a few words are all you need then pass it off to Rory, simple enough."

"…How is she?" Jess asked absent-mindedly, quickly wanted to not have asked.

"Rory?" There was pause. "She hasn't been in town, lots of traveling for a campaign trail she's part of…she loves it though."

"Good."

Silence; Luke awaited an answer out of Jess about being best man. Jess assumed as much and quickly mulled it over.

A few things bothered him about being best man, but he didn't say anything. Did he want to do this? Not really. Is it because he resented the job in itself? No, it's not a bad feeling to be asked. Though he didn't want to say why he was so keen on keeping profile during this wedding. That would inevitably plunge into a whole different conversation. He became slightly irate with himself for letting that get in the way, as always. Was he still the guy who needed to be dragged from New York for his mother's wedding because he was so terrifyingly in love? He wouldn't let himself be that guy. "I'll do it because it seems to be you want me to for some reason or another, God knows why. Though if you want me to do it, I want to do it," Jess said earnestly.

"Good, that's…good. I'm glad." Luke said

"Good."

"I should probably tell Lorelai," Luke said as in his mind he ran through a spectrum of reactions and scenarios of how Lorelai might react to this news.

"Bravery. Remember to stand a good arm-swinging distance away."


	3. It's True Doll Face

**Disclaimer: **Nothing's changed

**A/N: **I can not thank reviewers enough. Please review even if it's negative, I appreciate all input. I do think I'll be making longer chapters from now on once it gets deeper into the story. I'm not sure whether to do shorter chapters, more frequent updates or very lengthy chapters less frequently, so if you have a strong opinion go ahead.

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"So then I just say 'Morey, sweets, it's natural to not be the badass you used to be.' I mean age can do that to a person you know? Though I reminded him that he's still one hot piece of—"

"No need to continue Babette, I think I get it," Luke cut in dully to Babette's story as he walked away and continued to pour coffee at tables

"Luke, Luke, Luke, Luke!"

Luke looked towards the door to see an exuberant Lorelai bursting through the door. "Hey."

"Did you know that our wedding is on the first day of spring?!" she said astounded with this miracle.

Luke showed no surprise and looked at her questioningly, "Well isn't that why we picked the date?"

"I picked it because it's Big Bird's birthday," she said very seriously as she took a spot at the counter.

"Even better," he set a cup of coffee in front of her and took advantage of the moment since she seemed to be in one of her better moods. "Speaking of the wedding there's a…a uh…a thing. A thing I wanted to inform you about."

"Should I be sitting for this?"

"You are sitting."

"If I wasn't sitting how necessary would you say it should be that I do?"

"I don't know Lorelai, you are already sitting what does it matter?" She raised her eyebrows to indicate she wanted an answer. "It's not bad news at all. It's actually really pleasant news. You see I was talking to Jess yesterday."

"Oh is that who that was?" she said as she took another sip of her coffee.

"Yes, and he actually is coming to the wedding," he said in a tone that indicated that this wasn't the news.

"Well, we did invite so him coming did occur as a possibility to me," she said highly unenthused.

"And you know that kid really has grown up. Helps run this book place in Philly."

"Yeah you said something about that, going good?"

Luke looked pleased at her pleasant acceptance of the subject, "Yeah, it's great, he likes it and the business is good. He handles everything well, it's good for him."

"Huh, good for him."

"Wrote a book," Luke added.

"Wrote a book, that's great. All good, really. But what's t he 'thing you want to inform me about," she said with a pleasant curiosity.

Luke debated whether to beat around the bush a bit more or cut to the chase, "I asked him to be my best man."

Lorelai coffee cup hit the counter with a clatter as she placed it down from her hands with a quick force, "You what?!"

"And he said he would do it," Luke said quickly, extremely unsure of whether this was surprise or anger in her voice. He waited for the silence to pass. Though what he saw was neither, she slapped the counter and broke into a wild fit of laughter. "What's so funny?"

"Good one!" she said through her mess of laughter. "Oh yeah, and Mary Ann Cotton is my maid of honor," she squealed through her fit of hilarity.

"Lorelai--" Luke started, but it was Babette who piped in from a table by the door.

"It's true doll face, I heard him asking yesterday. It's really true!" Babette said as she nodded furiously.

"Thanks Babette," Lorelai said. Now with her laughter dead she turned back to Luke who just looked at her expectantly. "What, was Satan busy on the twentieth?"

"Give him a chance," Luke pleaded.

"Luke this is Jess. Jess who stole a beer from my fridge the day I met him and always mouthed off to me, Jess who always gave you such a horrible time, Jess who devastated my daughter," Lorelai said realizing how long ago it all was, yet still feeling an anger.

"Lorelai I know your dislike all comes from caring, but those are old grudges, I mean you know that. I am fine, Rory is fine, and Jess was a kid that despite a lot of stuff, he is fine too. I know you still think of him as who he was the last time you saw him, but he's really doing something with his life. Luke desperately wanted Lorelei to be accepting of Jess.

"Okay," she said reluctantly.

"Okay?" Luke said baffled

"Okay. As in 'I know that this is something that is your choice, but I know you want me to be okay with and I am'. As in 'don't worry about this bothering me, I am A-OK'," she confirmed with a forced smile.

"Really?"

"Yes, really. I mean you are right. I haven't seen him for what, four years? He was a teenager then I guess. And I know I'm being irrational wit my grudges." She shrugged. "And you're right I trust you, your opinions, your judgment, and if you think…" Lorelai sighed and tried to disguise her hesitance and gave a small nod. "I trust you."

"Thank you. Really, I mean he deserves the chance," Luke looked at her reluctant smile. "Hungry?"

"Not really. But I could go for some pancakes I guess. And a doughnut. And some fries"

"Don't go starving yourself."

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"I've been busy," Rory droned lazily.

"Too busy for the woman that birthed you?" Lorelai said with bewilderment as she plopped down on the couch with the phone.

"Hey, compensation for the time I'm taking off. I'm so tired right now, I could just collapse. I've been screening everyone's calls."

"You've been screening your mother's calls?"

"No didn't you hear, _everybody_."

"Your mother is not a part of everybody. She is far above. She makes the world turn and the sun shine. Have I taught you nothing?"

"Any updates on the wedding planning?"

"Well Kirk is marrying me and Luke!"

"Polygamy?"

"Silly girl. No, he is conducting a marriage. A minister, independent officiant, if you will."

"Whoa. I actually think the polygamy made more sense."

"Yeah, well."

"What did grandma and grandpa say about the engagement? You and Luke went over there the other day, right?"

"I think they were actually happy for me. It was sort of a 'about time' sort of happy, but happy none the less. We sent the invitations, and then I had to schedule an emergency dinner because I could just hear it in my head if the invitation got to her before I told her in person, 'Well Lorelai one would think that one's own mother should be informed before a world of complete strangers. I suppose in this case, one would be wrong.' I would proceed to tell her they are not complete strangers which would result in an 'Oh pardon me Lorelai, I forgot that family is no concern of yours.' But hey dodged that bullet."

"And while we're on the subject of wedding news. You know how I've been asking Luke to hurry up and choose a best man?"

Rory listened curiously, "Mhm."

"A couple days ago when…" Lorelai decided to skip the introduction and just jump to it, "He asked Jess, and Jess said he would. So you know Jess?" She asked dumbly because Rory didn't seem to be responding.

"Yes I do. I do believe I know Jess," Rory said blankly, extremely unsure of what she was feeling.

"You don't seem surprised," Lorelai observed.

"Well, I sort of saw it coming. I mean who did you expect, his cousin Bootsy?"

"Yeah, I guess I just didn't think about it. You never told me about what happed the last time you saw him."

Rory remembered her evasive maneuvers she performed whenever asked about that by her mom. Up to her, she wouldn't have told her mom at her; they just weren't on the same page about this. Though, she would have found out from Luke anyway so no reason to hide it. "Oh you know, just stuff."

"Remember to never try writing cliff notes. Hey, where are you now anyway?"

"Currently New York. The rest of the campaign trail is leaving in a week, but I'll be staying a day here, finishing up things, then taking a bus to Stars Hollow," Rory said as she walked along the sidewalk.

"My daughter, the city slicker. Me and Luke are gonna catch a movie. Talk to you later hon."

"Bye mom." Rory hung up the phone and continued down the busy sidewalk, she often lost track of where she even was and had to look around to see if she recognized the buildings or street names. Now was one of those times. Her walking came to an abrupt halt as she recognized the area across the street that rekindled some far off memory

"_It's where David Lee Roth got busted."_

She paused for a second and stared at the empty benches, but quickly regained composure and kept walking, but now very aimlessly and unable to remember her busy schedule.

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"You must be excited," said a girl with curly, dirty blonde hair and a kind smile that was looking herself over in the mirror.

"I really am I mean not just because my mom's getting married, but because I haven't seen people that I have seen pretty much everyday for all my life for so long," Rory said as she sat at the end of her bed.

"Leaving tonight or tomorrow?"

"Early tomorrow, too tired today. I don't want to get there and only be half-awake."  
she reasoned.

"Are you coming back?"

"Why wouldn't I?" Rory asked, baffled at the question.

"I mean lots of people leave when they find job opportunities, and I know you've been looking for some. This is a great experience and all, but you don't want to become complacent," she said very matter-of-factly.

"Actually I never did give it that much thought to be honest, but I guess you're right. Do you have plans?"

"Nah, what I said is just based on what I know of you. I actually think a couple months off to chill. I mean I've been busting my ass since 11th grade, I think I'll be taking a summer vacation soon enough. Then see where life takes me," the girl said as she put on glasses.

Rory was about to tell of her and her moms huge plans of roller coasters and more, but instead she felt compelled to ask, "Why do you wear glasses, your vision is great, you said so yourself."

"Helps me to be taken seriously," she said with a shrug. "You said you're the maid of honor, right?" she asked now jumping back to the subject of the wedding.

"Yeah, why?"

"Well I was the maid of honor at my friend's wedding a couple years ago and the best man was pretty cool and we hit it off pretty well. We dated for a while afterwards. You should give that idea a try."

"Crossed that tree," Rory muttered.

"Huh?"

She wanted to just say 'ex-boyfriend' and a simple understanding would wash over Krysta's face. Though, that doesn't even begin to describe the situation that is Jess. Logan was a shining example of an ex-boyfriend; some amazing times, but it just didn't work out. No happy ending that she had once pictured, but no real heartbreak either. In fact, it wouldn't be that hard to start things up again, but she had no desire to. She suddenly became aware that she was mid-conversation. "I…uh…don't know."

"Just some suggestions in case you choose not to spend your time away living a nun-like existence. Worked out pretty well for me," Krysta stated.

"Well you guys aren't dating anymore, right?" Rory asked wondering how well it could have worked out.

Krysta very purposefully held up her left hand, "No we're not dating." A grin spread across her face.

Rory squealed, "You didn't tell my you're engaged! How do you make that work?"

"It works when you're in love," Krysta said with a nonchalant shrug, but then continued with a smile that gleamed of love, "When we're ready we'll set the date, but until then it's just something that no amount of time or any distance can change. I know where my heart is, and I know if I wasn't with Charlie I would eventually go back because nothing will ever feel as right. And if he thinks I need a ring to tell me what I already know, well ok then. You know?" Krysta smiled at Rory as she stood by the door with her bags hanging off her shoulder. "Later Rory, remember to tell everybody back in that little town about how amazing I am," she grinned and shut the door

Rory just stared in awe, wishing she could once in her life be so sure of how she felt.

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A/N: All filler, no killer? Hope not, but more exciting things to come. Review please.


	4. One of Everything

**Disclaimer:** Own nada.

**A/N:** Let's keep it short. Reviews make me happy. Enjoy the chapter. If this sucks, I am sorry. Major writer's block, but I have some good ideas for chapters to come.

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"What will it be?" Luke asked as he walked up to Rory and Lorelai's table.

"One of everything?" Rory proposed as she looked at Lorelai, she had been home for almost a week now and she was pleased at how easily she settled back into the small town life she had inevitably grown to miss.

Lorelai nodded at Rory and confirmed, "One of everything."

"One of everything on the menu?" Luke asked in confusion of if they understood the actual amount of 'one of everything.'

"Yeah shopping all day can work up quite the appetite."

"Okay and now I'm going to ask you, what would you order if I were to say you're paying?"

Lorelai and Rory gave identical gasps and turned to Luke. "You wouldn't."

"Hypothetically," He looked at their offended glares. "Burger and fries it is," Luke said as he walked away.

"You know you'd think the bride-to-be would get some special treatment, considering it _his_ bride-to-be," Rory observed as Lorelai's cell phone started to let out a ring.

"I guess I'll take this outside," Lorelai said loudly as she looked back at Luke who just smiled and gestured to the no cell phone's sign. Her voice rose to a level that could have been used to address the entire diner, "One might think that a man might cut some slack to his fiancé and stop acting like he's still not getting any."

Once upon a time that might have fazed Luke, but Rory watched as he simply raised his eyebrows and went back to work. She watched out the window and watched the animated argument Lorelei seemed to be having over the phone.

"And here you go," Luke said as he reappeared with two white boxes, each containing a burger and fries.

"Thanks. How does it feel to know in a week you are a married man?" Rory inquired pleasantly.

He looked at Lorelai and considered how much time he already spent together and how many nights consisted of either her here or him at her place. "Not that big of a change really," he said honestly with a shrug.

Rory smiled at this and a new thought popped in her head upon realizing the wedding is in a week. "Luke," Rory started as he walked away.

"Yeah?"

She thought about which way of asking her question would go over best. She decided to go for casual, "Mom told me that Jess is the best man so I figured he might get here a bit earlier than the morning of, but would you…um…do you know when he gets here?" That came out much more formal than she intended. Luke looked absolutely thrown for some reason.

"Uh, I…uh…"

Then she understood what Luke must be thinking, "Oh, I'm not avoiding him or anything. I was just wondering because I figured with the wedding pretty soon."

"Oh, no I didn't think…" Luke decided best to brush past this thought and stop mumbling. "A couple days I think? Tomorrow? Not really sure, actually."

"Oh, okay," was all she thought to say. Though to herself she had to ask what difference it even made to her to know. He might be mad, or even worse, he might not be mad.

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A flat…

Perfect.

Cars were much more trouble than they're worth. Either they're backfiring, stolen by your uncle and locked in a garage for a year, or getting flats so you're stranded twenty minutes from Stars Hollow.

Jess looked at his car in irritation. He no longer drove the bucket of bolts he used to, hasn't for a while. Not that he had any problem with it, but he really needed something to get him from point A to point B, and it eventually stopped doing as much. He wasn't exactly driving a Porsche, but he bet he could just almost drive through Hartford without people scurrying in fear at the horrible anomaly. Too bad.

He opened his trunk and groaned at what he saw. A bunch of various tools, yet no spare. Where the hell was he supposed to get a spare tire at ten o' clock on a Monday night?

He looked a few feet ahead of him at an SUV. His eyes scanned it quickly, specifically the spare tire attached to the back. He surveyed the four tires that seemed to have no fault.

His eyebrows rose with a found solution.

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There was not a place more complacent than Stars Hollow. It was a static space in a dynamic world. Jess looked around. He almost expected to see something that would indicate that time had passed here, but there was nothing. He drove up to Luke's and parked across the street. He looked intently and tried to find some advancement that this town wasn't the same as it was six years ago. Long and behold, there was none. Yet, he could feel his resent to this town to be not nearly par with how he felt upon first stepping foot here.

Jess checked his watch, almost ten thirty. Luke said it doesn't matter if he gets here when he's out or sleeping and he can let himself in.

He walked up to the front door and reached up for the spare key to let himself in. Yet all his fingers found was the empty ledge. He reached up again, no key. He felt around for it some more, no key. That's when he noticed the lights were on and there was a cup of coffee sitting on one table. All the chairs were on the table though…

Then he saw Rory's face emerge from behind the counter.

Rory glanced around the diner till her eyes fell on him and her tired expression sharply turned dumbstruck and she froze as if someone had put her on pause.

Jess's eyes widened from a surprise that seemed to paralyze him for a few seconds, but he recovered quickly. He realized that she was still standing motionless, watching him. He was baffled at her shock, and he almost could have laughed if it wasn't for a small bitterness he felt upon seeing her. He tilted his head to the side and cocked an eyebrow at her. The realization seemed to have just hit her that he wanted to get inside because she quickly walked towards the door as she lightly blushed.

She opened the door and stood silent. Rory observed him, and noticed no major change of appearance. The change between seventeen and nineteen was notable. The change between nineteen and twenty-one was large. Though, the change between twenty-one and twenty-three was slight if any. His hair wasn't neat like when she last saw him, it was as haphazard as ever. Still scruffy. He looked tired.

Her eyes traveled upward and her eyebrows rose. He looked at her and followed her eyes and he realized she was looking at his arm which was still extended with his hand still placed on the ledge.

"Looking for my doobage," Jess explained casually as he stepped back and glanced up. "But I _guess_ someone stole my stash," he said with a mock disappointment and shrug.

Rory weakly smiled and moved aside so he could get in. "I was going to put the key back…before I left. Sorry," she said as she fidgeted and averted her eyes to the ground.

He dismissed the unnecessary apology and walked inside and sat at a barstool and dropped his rucksack on the counter. He turned and looked at her. She stood quietly as she faced him. Oddly enough, seeing her made him miss her a little. She looked restless.

"So, hi," Jess said with a nod.

"Hi," Rory said a little bit breathlessly. Many a conversation had started like this.

"Luke here?" Jess asked out of part curiosity, and of part thinking someone really needed to say something.

"He's out with my mom," she said simply, but continued, "I offered to close up so they could leave, and it wasn't that busy, and to help out some more around here with the wedding so close. And he said I could use the spare key to get coffee for myself whenever as a thank you. Which was unnecessary, but why refuse?" She said at a speed that was pretty quick, even for her. She smiled slightly, but still shifted uncomfortably where she stood. "They'll be back pretty soon probably, because Luke tends to set a curfew for himself. Which you probably know."

"Rory."

She got still at the sound of her name, "Yeah?"

"Take a breath."

She pulled a chair off the table and sipped the coffee on it. She didn't fail to notice the more formal undertones behind the general friendliness.

"How are you?" Rory asked unsurely.

Right now he was really bothered by how uncomfortable she seemed. "All is well."

"I'm glad," she said sincerely.

"And what have you been up to?"

She debated whether to actually tell him what she's been up to or if he even cares and is just asking for the hell of it. "I've been on the Obama campaign trail for almost the past year."

"Well look at you," he said with a proud tone, warmth finally in his voice, "Really doing it." He watched her smile shyly. The warmth in his voice was quickly fading and became strained once more. "Glad to be home?"

"Definitely, especially for the occasion."

"The wedding."

"That is the occasion I was referring to."

"About time really for them."

"They really belong together."

"Took them long enough to realize to it."

"Better late than never."

"Pretty much."

He wanted to say more, but the words didn't form and his gaze slowly wandered to his shoes as if there was something absolutely fascinating about them then flicked his eyes up to see Rory doing just the same. If anyone could see this it must be some ridiculous sight.

She looked extremely shifty. He couldn't help but wonder if she was worried he was going to kiss her or something. "Rory you can relax," he said with a dry laugh. "I'm not going to do anything--"

She cut him off and seemed to be in anticipation of this and she met his eyes for the first time and she didn't hesitate even though he was intently staring back at her, "Jess, no, that's not it at --"

The diner door swung open and Luke appeared and looked from Jess sitting on a barstool and followed his intent gaze to Rory who was staring back at him with sadness. The two both turned to Luke now. "Hey," Luke said hesitantly to both of them. "When'd you get here?"

"Ten minutes ago? Maybe less," Jess answered.

"I'm going to get going. See you tomorrow Luke," Rory said as she stood up and walked towards the door then turned to Jess and smiled, he returned it but the smile fell more into a straight line. She put the key back on the ledge over the door then started on home.

Jess was almost thinking that she couldn't walk home at this time of night, but then he remembered he was in a town of no crime.

"What was that?" Luke said.

"Don't really know. Nothing really," Jess said truthfully.

"Did I interrupt something?" Luke asked Jess who was absently staring out the window.

"Nah." He was still staring out the window when something came to his mind, "That guy she's going out with isn't coming down here, is he?"

"What guy?" Luke said confusedly as he cleared Rory's cup of coffee and put the chair back on the table.

Jess raised an eyebrow, "Blonde. Rich. Jackass."

"Oh," Luke said recognizing who he was referring to. "Gonna say no since they've been done for…about a year I think."

Jess wasn't completely surprised, but the little pride he has had been and still was a bit too injured to care. "Got any food? I'm kind of starved."

"Yeah, come on up. Bring your stuff."


	5. Past Tense

**A/N:** An extra long chapter, hope you like. Reviews make the world go round, thanks all of you. The speed of updates is dependent on both the amount of time I have and the motivation (AKA: reviews) I have. If you hate it, review anyway, I can't make something better if I don't know it's wrong. **Anonymous reviews are enabled now**

**Disclaimer: **If I owned Gilmore Girls Logan never would have been on the show. Rory wouldn't be a stupid hussy post season five. And Luke would have eloped with Lorelei when she asked.

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"So what were you up to last night?" Lorelai asked as her and Rory sat at the diner waiting for the coffee that they never had to ask for anymore.

Rory glanced around in what she believed to be subtle manner. "Closed up at Luke's, Lane's, Steve and Kwan are adorable by the way, and came back her for some coffee…" Rory hesitated, "And that is what I did." She didn't know why she was hiding these things from her mom, her absolute best friend.

"And what are you looking for?" Lorelai asked as she followed Rory's eyes who were quickly growing in their rapid shiftiness.

"I'm not looking for anything," Rory said as she darted her eyes around much more subliminally.

"Jane Fonda, you look like a maniac. You are looking for something," Lorelai said with a laugh as she continued to follow the gaze of her daughter.

"Unfounded accusation," Rory said with a shake of her head and gave a rest to looking around. She didn't know why she was looking, it's like when she asked Luke when he gets here.

"Oh," Lorelai said as her eyes widened as she looked ahead of herself. "So it's more a question of who are you looking for."

Rory followed her mother's eyes to Jess coming from the back room with a bin that he inserted under the counter. He rolled up the sleeves of his plaid button-down and scanned the diner till he spotted Rory and Lorelai. He proceeded to grab the coffee pot and two cups and routinely walked towards them.

Lorelai looked at Rory who was very plainly staring.

"Jess," Lorelai said briefly.

"Lorelai," Jess acknowledged tonelessly with a nod, his voice raspy with morning tiredness. He looked at Rory and gave her a wordless nod and a lousy attempt at a smile that Rory mirrored in return. Neither showed their disappointment, is this what they had come down to? Polite gestures?

Lorelei looked at the two then spoke, "Where's Luke?"

"Phone with April," he said as he pointed over his shoulder with his thumb toward the curtain that leads upstairs, and proceeded to pour Lorelai coffee.

"Right," Lorelai said as Jess poured coffee for Rory who muttered a 'thanks'.

"What will it be?" Jess asked as he finished pouring their coffee.

"Eggs," Lorelai said.

"Same," Rory said as Jess turned to her.

Jess looked at Rory, devoid of expression, then turned and walked away. Rory frowned then saw her mother looking at her curiously with an eyebrow raised.

"Hon, you know you can tell me anything, right?" Lorelai said as she looked at her daughter sadly.

"Of course I know that," Rory said.

"I know Luke had to come back here yesterday night because Jess probably would have gotten here by then. And you came home after Luke gave me a ride home. I can only assume that there is at least a little you are not letting me onto. And that is okay, you know? Though you don't have to hide something from me because it's something you think I'll lecture you about. I won't, if you want to tell me anything, I won't judge. I just don't want you to feel like you have to hide it from me because I won't like it."

"Okay," Rory said simply.

"Okay?"

"I have some stuff we can talk about when we get home, Mom," Rory said with a big smile at her mom.

"And I always want to hear it kid."

Jess walked back to their table, "Eggs and eggs," he said as he set the plates in front of them and turned to walk away.

"Hey Jess," it was Lorelai who spoke. Rory looked up at her mother confused.

"Yeah?"

"Have you seen your sister yet? She's really adorable," Lorelai said in a pleasant tone that sounded odd coming out of her mouth and directed towards Jess. Rory stared at her mother with her eyebrows raised.

Jess answered hesitantly, "Headed over there today." He watched as Lorelai just nodded and went back to her eggs and coffee. No further questioning? No ulterior motive? He looked at Rory who just shrugged. He turned and walked away baffled.

Lorelai snickered, "That was fun. Luke told me to give the kid a chance, but that 'are you on crack?' look, that just adds a level of entertainment and satisfaction."

"Ah."

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"…and there we are." Rory said as she sunk into the couch with a deep breath upon the end of her story.

Lorelai remained silent.

"Mom?"

"Processing Hon, give me a second."

Rory sat silent.

"So…whoa," Lorelai said as she sunk into the couch. "Why didn't you tell me sooner Rory?"

"I don't know. I thought you might…I don't know," Rory said hopelessly.

"You know you'd think that time would change some things," Lorelai said with a humor restored to her voice.

"What do you mean?"

"Do you think a day will come when you don't kiss Jess while you have a boyfriend?" Lorelai said with a playful grin.

Rory glared, "Out of your system?"

"Yep."

"I hurt him. And after all that it didn't work out with Logan," Rory said as she threw her hands up in exasperation.

Lorelai looked at her daughter sadly, "I don't know what to say sweetie, but he doesn't seem mad."

Rory went incredulous, "That's just it, he's not mad,. He told me I could tell Logan that we did something so I would feel better. Ridiculous."

Lorelai simply nodded to show solidarity not really sure where she stands on all this. "I'm not supposed to like him or anything now, right?"

"Nah. That would just be weird. It's like…something weird that I'm not thinking calmly enough to come up with right now."

They sat in silence for a few seconds before Lorelai spoke, "'it is what it is'…what does that even mean?"

"I _know_, right!"

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"She gets here late tomorrow night so it might be close quarters," Luke said as he turned to Jess who was lying on the couch with a book.

He hardly lifted his head as he responded in a sarcastic monotone, "Well, I don't know if I can adjust because my villa back in Philly is pretty darn--"

"A straight answer would just kill you, wouldn't it?"

"It just might. You're going fishing tomorrow?"

"Before I go to pick up April, yeah. And Lorelai is having her 'bachelorette party' tomorrow which is just going to be a couple of them sitting at her house getting very, very hammered. But anyway, should I close up for a day or can you manage?"

"Well my day was filled with hoedowns and barn-raisings," he said lazily as he feigned disappointment and stretched as he stood up, "but I can get out of it and otherwise I'm not exactly busy around here so sure I can help out."

"Thanks," Luke said ignoring everything before 'I can help out'. And proceeded to walk back downstairs.

Jess turned back to his book when soon after his attention shifted to what he heard downstairs.

"Hey is Jess here?" The voice was Lorelai's. Man did her voice carry.

"Upstairs, why?" Luke's low gruff voice.

"I need to talk to him." She was already coming up the stairs.

"Did he do something?"

"I need to talk to him before I change my mind."

The door swung open and Jess just looked from Luke to Lorelai and instinctively said, "Hey, there is no way I could have pissed you off already."

"Lorelai--" Luke started.

"You can stay and listen Luke, I think you should actually," Lorelai said as she looked at a baffled Luke.

Luke looked at Jess who looked nothing less than indifferent and nothing more than curious, and sat down in the chair.

Jess just decided to sit back and accept whatever was coming at him. Maybe she is unhappy with the weather today and has decided that he is the cause of global warming. Upon further observance, he noticed she didn't exactly look angry.

"You know I never liked you," Lorelai started bluntly.

"Knew that."

Lorelai evenly continued, "I always thought you were just a smart mouth, good for nothing punk."

"Past tense?"

Lorelai ignored him and said slower, "I always thought you were a bad influence on anyone."

"With the past tense again," Jess said as he looked at her still confused.

There was a pause. "Thank you." Lorelai said with a smile.

Jess just looked at her as if she was going to pull a hatchet from behind her back and kill him while he's off guard.

"Rory told me that you really knocked some sense into her back when she 'took time off'. I mean I know that was a long time ago, over two years ago. Though, to me this is new information and you don't know how grateful I am. You may not think it's a big deal, but it really, really is. Thank you for that. She might not have been the class of oh seven, or the class of anything. She might have wasted her life and I would have lost her to my _mother_. I'm not saying this to be nice, because well, why would I tell you anything to be nice? But right after you talked to her she came home, she went back to Yale. That was something I couldn't convince her to do. Thank you."

Lorelai probably didn't realize that much of this is new information to Jess as well. He always figured he was just a contributing factor. Apparently he was a bit more. He still didn't understand why now, over two years later Lorelai was informed of this and he was receiving a thank you. Though, he also didn't feel that was important to understand.

Lorelai walked towards the door and kissed a shocked Luke who sat in the armchair, and before closing the door she turned to Jess and made a face as if having tasted something disgusting, "For my peace of mind, this never happened and is a figment of your imagination and will be denied if ever brought up on in the future."

Jess merely nodded then turned to Luke, who finally spoke, "Explain." Luke looked at his nephew who sighed, but obliged.

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Jess leaned back on the couch and talked to the ceiling as Luke paced in front of him, "…and now here I am sitting on your couch." He looked at Luke that was still pacing back and forth in front of the couch, "with this moron, pacing in front of me."

"Huh?" Luke came to the realization that Jess had stopped talking. "Oh, sorry," he came to a halt. He had nothing to say. He had no lecture to give him. He had no wisdom to shed on him. "Are you okay?" Luke asked hesitantly.

Jess highly appreciated this actually. An actual concern for him, while unnecessary, was a refreshing change from a psychoanalysis he did not ask for. Though, he must admit, Luke actually never had failed to help in some way, shape, or form. "Don't see why I wouldn't be," He saw Luke open his mouth tentatively but Jess interjected, "No Freudian input necessary."

Luke looked at him silently for a second and nodded, "I should get back to work. Going to Liz's now?"

"Yeah I guess. I told her I'd see her. And I sort of have a sister."

"And TJ."

Jess noticeably grimaced, "Lovely." He then grabbed his jean jacket and headed toward the door.

"Hey, whatever happed to your leather jacket?"

"Still got it," he said as Luke closed the door behind them.

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Rory aimlessly walked along the sidewalk. Maybe she'd head over to Lane's. She assessed where she was and started walking. She looked at the groups and couple's walking by, it was only in Star's Hollow where you knew almost everyone who walked by on a sidewalk.

Kirk and Lulu squabbling a bit ahead of her, not unusual. Jackson walked by with a big box of produce and smiled but seemed in a bit of a strain of the weight in the box. Then across the street she looked at the occupied bench; Jess and a little toddler propped on his knee she assumed must be Doula. Rory never actually met her, considering she never formally met Liz.

He was smirking at Doula. He was smirking at a little toddler. Doula rocked back and forth, then back a little too far to a point where she nearly toppled backwards off Jess's knee. He looked horrified at this and quickly secured his hands behind her tiny little back. Doula started laughing and Jess very clearly smiled at her then grabbed onto his arm and gleefully said something that made Jess's look of horror return. He seemed to scold her. She must've repeated it because the horror intensified on his face.

Rory realized she was slowly approaching this entire time. She could now clearly hear what Jess was saying.

"Please don't say that. No, don't. Seriously, I'm begging you to never say that. That's not a good thing to say." Rory couldn't hear what Doula said but Jess repeated, his voice panic-stricken, "Don't say that!"

"She catch on to the basic swears already?" Rory said as she looked at Jess who seemed surprised at her presence, but still in some deep worry over what Doula said. Rory found it kind of funny that Jess of all people would care this much about bad language.

"Worse," Jess said as he winced like what he was hearing was painful. Rory stepped closer to the two of them and hesitantly took a seat next to Jess. This time she clearly heard what Doula said. Well, as clear as someone who's not even two could say.

"I love Jess!" Jess groaned as if in pain. "I love Jess!" Doula said now with a slight whine in her tone as she opened she reached her arms out and grabbed his shirt. Jess let out a pained sigh and supported her forward to let her give him a hug.

Rory looked at him sadly as she saw what hearing that was doing to him. The sadness in her expression faded into one both soft and adoring. Jess turned to look at her and she turned red instantly, but regained composure. She realized she might've been looking at him a bit too adoringly.

Jess quietly explained, "I don't think she knows who Jess is," Jess sadly glanced at Doula who was back on his knee happily tugging on his shirt with both hands, "I'm sure she'll change her mind once she learns."

"I love Jess!" Doula said with a happy giggle.

"No, you really don't. You just think that because those are some of the only words you know," Jess explained to Doula as if he was talking to someone his own age. Doula wildly shook her head side to side and Jess looked as if in grave pain.

"Jess," Rory said softly. He seemed startled at the tone, but turned, "I think she knows who Jess is." They both looked back at the giggly little toddler bouncing on his knee, "And I think she _does_ love him." Jess winced in pain of the word again, but gave a sigh of some sort of acceptance.

His voice went monotone as Doula joyfully played with his fingers. "Then she's weird," he gave a small almost smile and kissed her on the top of her head. Doula giggled with delight and looked around.

Rory intent;y looked at him. She watched the movement of his strong features softening as he smiled at Doula who take great interest in toying with the buttons on his shirt and the cuff of his jacket.. Rory was aware that she was presently gazing at him with full amounts of doting affection, but she excused herself because right now it was pretty much impossible not to. She knew that Jess probably had noticed through the corner of his eye but she hardly cared. "Is this the first time you've seen her? Because your little sister is pretty crazy about you."

"Yeah, sort of strange. Though I guess that _is_ just the effect I have on people," Jess said with a smirk and his nonchalance returning to him.

Rory smiled and shook her head as she continued to watch Doula play with the sleeve of Jess's shirt. "She's so adorable, really." For the first time Doula turned and looked at her. She leaned towards Jess and asked him quietly, "Do you think she can say Rory?"

Before Jess said anything Doula's eyes lit up with recognition, "Rory?"

Rory looked at the little girl baffled and hesitantly answered, "Yes?"

"Rory!" Dula squealed with excitement.

"It's like she recognizes my name!" Rory beamed at this, but was still confused. Then she looked at Jess who was staring straight ahead.

"How about that," Jess said a little too uneasily.

"I wonder how, I mean I've never actually met her before," she said as she turned to Jess and smiled at Dula who eagerly waved at her.

"That's a small town for you," he said a bit too quickly.

Rory studied him for a moment. He was squirming. She recognized his squirm, and he was squirming. Rory grinned, but dropped it.

"Jess my brother," Doula proclaimed excitedly to Rory as she turned towards her and tapped on her hand.

Rory looked up at Jess who looked at Doula with some sort of relief of a subject change. "He's a very good brother isn't he?"

Dula nodded furiously threw her tiny arms around Jess. He hopelessly looked at the little toddler who had attached herself to him, and Rory watched him with glazed eyes.

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**A/N:** Stay tuned. (And what did you think?)


	6. Praying to the Porcelain God

**A/N: **Reviewers, you guys are awesome. Those reviews are my motivation and inspiration, and they do influence the speed of chapters. I appreciate every single review, really. Even if it's bad, I appreciate the time to tell me something I can work on. This would have been in sooner, but my computer died for many days. **All spellings of Lorelai and Doula have been corrected. **

**Disclaimer**: Own nada.

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"These pancakes are really good!" Lorelai gushed.

"I was just about to say that!" Rory enthusiastically agreed as she took a bit.

"I mean I thought since Luke isn't here, we'd just be settling, but these are really _good_."

"And fluffy! Caesar's really improving, these are possibly surpassing of Luke's." Lorelai gasped at this.

"So anyway, how about purple?"

"Purple would be alright but…"

"Yeah, doesn't click for me either. I want it to be a fun color. Though a color that works great on both of you."

"You know I'm surprised you waited so long to pick dresses for me and Sookie."

"Well you only got back like a week ago." Lorelai paused then blurted with excitement, "Red!"

"Red?" Rory questioned as she made a face.

"No red?" Lorelai said with disappointment.

"I don't know I just think for a maid and matron of honor dress, it's just so…scarlet woman." Rory glared at her mother who burst into a fit of laughter as the last two words came out of her mouth.

"Scarlet. Woman." Lorelai mocked incredulously through her snickering. Her daughter rolled her eyes and went back to her pancakes. "Sometimes I wonder how you fit the spirit of that eighty year old woman inside that little body of yours," she continued as she pinched Rory's cheek.

"Hilarious woman," Rory said dryly as she stabbed her fork into her pancakes. "Maybe we'll just know when we see it today."

"Hopefully," Lorelai said. She turned to Jess who returned to their table with coffee. "Tell me a color for a dress," Lorelai said to Jess offhandedly.

He poured Rory coffee and gave Lorelai a confused look, "White?"

"No, not _my _dress," Lorelai said in irritation. "Maid and matron of honor dresses. Rory and Sookie."

He poured coffee for Lorelai then paused for a second and glanced at Rory. "Yellow," he said dully before he turned and walked away.

Lorelai thought of his succinct, unexplained answer a bit and considered, "Yellow…" She searched Rory for an opinion, but she was pensively staring off in the direction Jess had just walked.

"What?" Rory said suddenly snapping back. "Oh, yellow. Great."

Lorelai shifted her attention to Caesar who was passing by next to them, "Caesar!"

"Lorelai, how are you?" Caesar responded with a smile as he turned

"I am good, thanks. I just thought you should know your pancakes are really good, so good I wanted to tell you how good they are. I mean yours are always good, but these are like surpassingly great, in need of recognition."

"Yes, compliments to the chef," Rory chimed in with a smile.

"You two are kind, but I didn't make these. I hardly ever make pancakes anymore, not my forte. You can thank Jess," Caesar said before he walked away leaving looks of mild surprise on the faces of the two.

Lorelai looked down at her pancakes, "I didn't know the kid can cook."

Rory looked at her mother and stated matter-of-factly, "It took you almost two years to figure out that Luke, the owner of _Luke_'s diner, can cook."

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"It's like sugar plum fairies' threw up on everything," Lorelai observed as they walked inside a bridesmaid, maid of honor, and matron of honor dress shop

"Tafetta," Rory stated blandly as she loosely held up a dress.

Sookie picked up a hat next to her, "There's a feather in this hat."

"Maybe you should call it macaroni," Lorelai suggested.

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"Aren't they perfect for the two of you? It's casual enough for the whole feel of the wedding, but really fun and pretty," Lorelai raved as they walked back to the car.

"Yes, very perfect," Rory agreed with a tiredness to her voice.

Sookie nodded and said, "And we only had to go to six--"

"Seven," Rory corrected.

"Seven different stores."

Lorelai turned and glared at the two.

"Hey we are not complaining. The dresses are beautiful and we…we are not complaining," Rory looked at her mothers glare, "Not complaining. At all."

"Yes and tomorrow I will come here to Woodbridge and pick up the beautiful dresses after they have been altered and a complaint will not slip my mouth," Sookie explained, but noticed Lorelai still glaring, "And we need to get you to your bachelerotte party!"

"Because I'm getting married!" Lorelai beamed.

"That's right you are," Rory said brightly.

They continued back to the car and Sookie mused, "Good color choice."

"Yeah that pale goldenrod color…" Lorelai said hesitantly.

Rory turned to her mother and smiled, "You mean yellow?"

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Jess pulled a chair off one of the tables and sat down after eh finished closing up. He took a swig of his, well Luke's, beer and looked outside. A bit past ten o' clock and the street was basically deserted.

That's when he heard a thud, he looked outside and saw Rory. Rory who had just clumsily walked into his car. He continued to watch curiously. She turned towards the diner and continued to walk just as clumsily, zigzagging and tripping over her feet every few steps. Jess looked at her baffled, and she was headed towards the door. The door she just walked straight into. She rubbed her forehead.

Jess got up with a start, and opened the door, "It's not automatic you know," he said hesitantly. She gracelessly stumbled in. He just stared in uncomprehending bewilderment.

"Jess!" Rory said with a loud unclearness. Rory threw her arms around his neck and leaned onto him when everything became obviously clear for him. She leaned in to kiss him, but he pursed his lips and backed away; he caught enough of her breath to confirm what he already knew.

"You're drunk," he said simply as he moved her arms off him.

"Me and Lane are getting doughnuts," she said with a drunk inflection and mad laughter.

He didn't bother telling her there is no Lane to be seen, but he had to ask, "Why?"

"Because mom said," she said at an enormous volume. "I don't think Lane came," Rory explained after looking around.

Questions were getting him nowhere. He put a hand on her back and guided her to a barstool. "Sit." He realized he still had a beer in his other hand, and put it away, he decided it best for him to be in his full senses.

"I have to bring doughnuts though," she said hopelessly.

Jess could only attempt to connect the dots. He knew Lorelai's bachelorette party was today. And a drunken Rory was sent on a doughnut run by probably her equally or more so drunk mother. He went to the backroom to get her something to eat.

"Where are you going?" she whined.

He didn't answer he just came back and placed some fries and coffee in front of her, "Eat."

She eagerly did so then frowned, "Don't I need to bring doughnuts?"

"I think you can count on anyone who wanted doughnuts not remembering it or even being conscious," he said as studied her dizzily leaning on her arm. How she even had the determination to walk here he did not know. She started muttering unintelligibly under her breath. "Come on," he said gently as he walked to her side of the counter

"Sorry Jess," she mumbled dazedly with her eyes closed and her head falling to the counter. "I'm sorry."

Jess looked at her sadly, then grabbed the crook of her arm and guided her off the stool. "Come on," he repeated. "As easy as it would for me to give you ten boxes of doughnuts and send you on your merry drunken way I don't think I should do that," he added lightly with a smirk.

"I said no to him, Jess," Rory babbled quietly and incoherently as Jess helped her up the stairs, "You should know that. Not just to him. To being a corporate wife, a socialite, a dinner party planner."

Jess had no response, she was pretty smashed, and he would let her rant till she fell asleep which he had no doubt would be soon. He had time to actually comprehend what she was saying later. He gently helped her onto the couch where her hands immediately sought out a pillow. He put a blanket over her and sighed.

"Jess," Rory said meekly.

"Yeah?" He said as he sat in front of her and turned.

"I lo--"

"Rory stop" he said harshly. He felt his voice crack. It would probably very literally kill him if he had to hear what she was going to say and have to remember it while she gets to go to sleep and not remember a thing.

"I don't know what it is anyway. Don't know any better than you. Thought I did, but I don't. I want to, but I don't. I really don't know anymore. Should talk to Matt's poet..." she mumbled with a drawl, he words further muffled by the pillow.

Jess was looking at her with a silent thoughtfulness. He looked inexplicably sad. She was talking in fragments, but he knew what she was talking about.

"But I swear Jess, you're--"

"Rory…" He meant for it to cut her off, but it came off weaker than intended. He didn't want to hear what came next. He didn't want to hear it all, he didn't want to hear it and know she didn't mean it.

"I swear. The Kurt to my Courtney. The Westley to my Buttercup. The Rhett to my Scarlett. The Tony to my Maria. The _Luke _to my _Lorelai_! I swear you are!"

"Rory," he said firmly, but his voice choked. Her voice was becoming more incoherent and drowsy by the second, but he heard her like she was screaming through a megaphone. "Go to sleep," he meant to say it evenly but he could hear himself almost begging.

"As you wish," she mumbled and seemed to doze off in less than a second.

Jess got up with extreme distress looked around. Luke and April would be here soon. It didn't occur to him he had nowhere to sleep. Maybe he could sleep on the chair. He looked at Rory sleeping on the couch.

The chair wasn't that bad.

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

He sat downstairs and made himself a cup of coffee. He didn't care much for coffee, but he couldn't find anything better to do this early in the morning, it was five o' clock. He heard footsteps coming down the stairs. It must be Luke, getting up insanely early tends to be some sort of ritual for him. He was surprised to see Rory appear from behind the curtain. She looked extremely weary.

"You're up early," Jess said plainly.

"I could say the same to you," Rory said exhaustedly. "It took me a couple seconds to realize where I was, but then I realized I was very familiar with that couch."

Jess gave a small smile. "You don't hold your liquor well, Gilmore," he said with a shake of his head.

She winced, "In the middle of the night did I…"

"Begin praying to the porcelain god? Yep."

Rory groaned, "Did I wake everyone up?"

"Nah, just me. And someone needed to hold your hair," he said with a smirk. Though, he wanted to take the second half of that sentence back.

"Jess," she didn't know what to say at all, "Thank you. Really. And I don't remember much right now, but if I said a bunch of stupid stuff yesterday, I'm sorry I didn't mean to"

His jaw visually tensed, Rory noticed. "Okay." He surveyed the drowsy Rory for a few seconds. "You look really hung over, want something to eat?"

"Pancakes, please?" Rory asked hopefully.

"Sure, hold on."


	7. Classy and Fabulous

**A/N: **Reviewers, once again, can not thank you guys enough. This chapter required some thought to write since I wasn't sure how to play it out, but I currently don't have internet connection since I moved so I had to take my computer to a hub so I can put this chapter up. Though, I know you don't want excuses, you want chapters. Reviews equal motivation. Motivation equals inspiration. Inspiration equals writing chapters. Enjoy the extra long chapter.

**Disclaimer: **If I owned anything I wouldn't need to write fan fanfiction.

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

Jess watched as Rory left and as if on some type of cue Luke appeared from behind the curtain, and he faked airiness as if he hadn't been waiting on the other side of the curtain.

"Shouldn't you have some sneaky music playing when you do that?" Jess pondered with a smirk as he looked at Luke.

Luke crossed his arms and looked out the window as if observing a painting. "So I come back here with April and see a seemingly inebriated Rory sleeping on the couch. Now this discovery seemed to pale in comparison to where I saw_ you_ sleeping." Luke laughed to himself as Jess scowled.

Jess put on his best exaggeratedly ashamed face and started with mock disappointment, "You're right, how inconsiderate of me. I didn't even realize that you might have preferred the chair. Would you have preferred the chair? Because here I thought I was being all kind and what not by letting you have your bed, but if you--"

"She kept muttering," Luke said offhandedly.

"About doughnuts," Jess said with a shake of his head.

"And other stuff," Luke hesitantly said as he looked at Jess. He saw Jess stiffen which Luke figured confirmed that Jess had heard the 'other stuff' that he was referring to.

"Like pie," Jess said vacantly. Which was true, but was surely not what Luke was referring to. He heard her occasionally call his name in a regretful murmur followed by some incomprehensible muttering. This was all in between incoherent thoughts on doughnuts and pie. It hardly mattered that he slept in a chair because he spent the majority of the night staring at the ceiling.

"Yes, like pie," Luke said unfalteringly with a nod as a silent agreement fell over them. They had long since discovered that better part of their relationship was that of unspoken understanding.

They both moved from where they were standing and silently put the chairs down. "You know she came in here completely wasted and wanders into the diner and she probably wouldn't even have made it home without getting run over by a parked car," Jess started defensively.

Luke looked at Jess in confusion, "I figured as much."

"It's not like I willingly took care of her because I wanted to, I just did it because I had to. I didn't want to listen her drunken yammering and hold her hair, I just did it because someone needed to take care of her," Jess continued now with an extremely prominent and excessively defensive tone.

Luke just stared then raised his eyebrows, "Didn't say otherwise." He took a good look at Jess for the first time since he got down here. He looked hopelessly exasperated. The rims of his eyes were creased and exhausted and he looked excessively stressed. A sudden understanding dawned on Luke, "You didn't get much sleep, did you." It wasn't a question. Jess sighed. "Go to sleep. Or do whatever the hell you want. Forget about helping out here today. You look exorcised, you'll scare the customers."

Jess stared ahead of himself blankly then turned to Luke with a small smile on the corner of his lips. "Thanks," he said quietly before he put a chair down and walked upstairs.

Luke looked at Jess trudging away and he couldn't help but sympathize. "When will it end…" he muttered. He didn't want his nephew to pine.

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

Lorelai woke up groggily and looked around. She got up and walked around to reacquaint herself with her surroundings and get a vague idea of who had passed out here.

"Ugh…," She put a hand to her head and wondered if she just walked into a wall…or was just kicked in the head with a steel-toe boot.

She looked into Rory's room and looked at her empty bed quizzically. Then surveyed the floor, the couch, all seating in the house. Many occupied by someone or another, but no Rory. Lorelai was curious, but not worried. Rory was a responsible adult who probably got up at a reasonable hour to run some errands since it was probably almost noon anyway. Though, if it was almost noon, why was it still a bit dark outside. "Rory?"

She quickly glanced at the clock. Five forty-five.

The thought of doughnuts suddenly filled her mind and she wasn't sure why, when she was trying to figure where the hell her daughter was, she was thinking of doughnuts. And suddenly a recollection of the previous night filled into place. "Doughnuts," she murmured as if the word had a new meaning.

Lorelai gratefully looked at the red light of the answering machine and played the message hopefully. She dully mumbled to herself what she wanted to hear as she walked towards the machine, "Hi mom, it's me. I know you sent me out in the middle of the night for doughnuts, but unlike you, I was exceedingly sober so of course I didn't go because I don't take requests from the drunk. So I thought I'd just leave you a message in case I'm not there when you wake up since I went for a jog." She paused and made a face at the un-likeliness of this, Rory doesn't jog.

She played the message on the machine and looked confused when it wasn't Rory's voice she even heard, it was Luke's, "Hey it's a little past eleven and I just got back , but I figured you might wake up tomorrow and start going nutty wondering where Rory is even though you probably shouldn't. But she's here, she's good. Passed out on the couch, but doing fine. I don't know why she's here, she got here a while before me I think, but don't worry she wasn't just wandering around, Jess was here."

"Oh thank the heavens, _Jess_ was there," she said wryly to herself and didn't hear the creak of the door opening.

"And I know what you're going to say Lorelai, but he's sleeping in my chair so Rory can sleep on the couch. Well he's pretending to sleep at least because he doesn't want me to ask him about Rory, but that's fine by me I'll do him the courtesy of pretending I think he's asleep. So I don't know much more, like why she's here, but you might know that. I guess. But I think Jess made sure she's okay, so really, don't worry." Beep. Lorelai let out her breath. The words couch and chair had never brought her such relief.

"I brought doughnuts," Rory now said hesitantly from the doorway as she held up a box, "And I think it's true. I mean when I remember I'll confirm it. Though I know he held my hair when I was puking and he made me pancakes," Rory said as she closed the door behind her. Those were at least the parts she remembered. She wanted to remember more of him taking care of her, but she didn't.

Lorelai smiled warmly at her daughter. "I got so drunk that I practically sent my also drunk daughter to go stay the night with a _boy_," she groaned in disbelief.

"Don't worry I have my cootie shots," Rory said dryly as she walked into the kitchen and set the boxes down on the table.

"You actually brought back doughnuts."

"Hey, I stick by my word. You asked for doughnuts last night and, bada-bing, the next morning here they are," Rory said as she opened a white box full of pancakes and set it in front of Lorelai, "And Jess said I could take some of his pancakes back. They're really good for a hangover."

Lorelai pensively watched her daughter, "I guess it's a lucky thing I sent you to Luke's." Rory raised her eyebrows. "Not in general I mean, but I mean I'm glad that you weren't just wandering around all wasted."

"Are you saying you are glad that Jess was there?" Rory suggested.

"I'll check myself in tomorrow."

"You know I think deep down your growing to like him, but you are just too stubborn to admit that."

"Do not cry for me when the men in the white coats take me away."

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

"So then the idiot winks at me and I'm like okay now take it over there. And he isn't going so I'm like hey I'm getting married on Saturday, move it along. And he's all 'oh it doesn't bother me if it doesn't bother you.'" Lorelai said with disgust

"What a creep, so what did you do?" Rory questioned.

"I told him I'm a lesbian and my future wife could kick his ass."

"Classy and fabulous."

"I'm sure Coco Chanel would agree."

"Your phone's ringing," Rory said as she looked at her mother's ringing purse.

"I'm going deaf with age," Lorelai picked up her phone, "Hello? Sookie what's wrong? What…No…No!...No, I checked that's tomorrow…You're kidding…I'll be right there…Yeah, sure."

"What's that about?"

"The Hamilton party is today not tomorrow. I got to go I'll see you tonight. Can you pick up the dresses? The store will be closed by the time me or Sookie get off." Lorelai said frantically.

"Yes, sure, of course. Go."

"Thanks," Lorelai said as she scurried away.

Rory walked back down the street towards her house for her car which was stationery on the driveway. She fumbled around for her keys then stuck them in the ignition. She was nearly out of gas, but she probably had enough to get to a gas station. She pulled out of the driveway and made it about twenty feet when the car came to a halt. "Stupid car! Damn you to hell!"

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

Rory walked back down the street towards the bus stop she waited sat two times a day, five days a week, for four years. It was around four thirty so there might be a bus pretty soon.

She stopped in front of the diner then decided to go in for some coffee.

Luke greeted her with a smile, "Rory, hey."

She sat down at the counter, "Coffee to go please." Luke nodded. She searched around for Jess, but she couldn't spot him. She continued scoping the room for him. She wasn't sure why she was looking, but looking for him had become an instinct of some sort.

"He's not here," Luke said hesitantly, "Probably sitting around somewhere reading. I though it'd be better for him to take it easy today, he was pretty worn out."

"Oh I was just…" She didn't know what she was trying to say. She was just what? "Sorry about yesterday."

"Don't worry about it," he said as he handed her coffee.

"Thanks." Rory hopped off her barstool then headed out the door.

She idly walked to the bus stop, not even sure of if the bus was coming. Rory then for the first time noticed the slightly shabby black car parked across from the diner that she recognized as Jess's. She studied a large dent on the side.

"That's not from when you walked into it, if you were wondering."

An out of the blue, uncalled for, impossible to understand giddiness spilled over her. She turned her head to Jess, "I walked into your car?"

"Then right into the door." He said with a nod.

"Then you gave me fries and coffee and helped me upstairs."

He froze and waited to see if she recollected further or anymore detail. She didn't, she just made a face trying to. "Then you went straight to sleep and woke up many hours later," he said shortly with a quick raise of his eyebrows. "So where you headed?

She looked at him suspiciously, recognizing his evasiveness, but she let it go. "I need to go to Woodbridge to pick up mine and Sookie's dresses, but my car ran out of gas practically by the time I got to the end of the driveway. So I got to take a bus and it's usually around here at four thirty."

He shoved his hands deep in his pockets and leaned back on his heels. "Is that the bus you mean?" he said as he tilted his head to the bus that was now fading away down the next street.

She crossed her arms and glared in the direction of the bus, "Yes, yes it is."

He smirked. "Do you want a ride over there? There's some stuff I can pick up for Luke on the way anyway."

"Oh, you don't have to, you've been here for three days and I've already been a real load." Though she really did want to accept, she didn't want to impose.

"Kind of." He said with a shrug. "But there are worse loads to have so I don't mind. Though hey, your choice. _May_be you should close your eyes, click your heels, and wish you were in Woodbridge."

She noticed something about his tone. He usually pulled of sarcasm with and egotism that only he could make charming. Though right now, his voice was heavy, sort of defeated. His sarcasm was toneless and bland. He was extremely bothered by something.

She walked to the passenger side of his car and smiled, "Thanks."

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

"Die jerk?"

"Right there on the door. It was like four years ago, but it was one of the more memorable events of my Yale experience."

"You compared her to a hippo," Jess repeated in disbelief with a small grin

"Yes, I'm a jerk it's established," Rory said robotically.

"No, no. As a reporter it's your job," he said restraining a laugh.

"And you are bias because you think it's funny."

He considered this for a second then nodded his head, "Yes, yes I am."

"_I_ think it's funny that you got a nine year old kid to hate you so much that he ran his bike into your car," Rory said with a grin reminding him of the story he had told her a few minutes previous. She found being able to comfortably talk like this was a good thing, but it seemed a bit hollow none the less.

"It _is_ pretty hilarious how he didn't even realize he'd get bucked off." He turned his head toward her, "Turn left?"

Rory nodded and inquired, "Are you going to write anymore?"

"Well I'm working on something. But it's nothing."

"Can I preorder it?" she asked enthusiastically.

Jess laughed, "I haven't even given it to a publisher yet, but I'll keep you updated. He pointed to a small shop with dresses in the windows in the general direction of where they were headed. "Is that it?"

"Yeah, that's it."

"Alright," he said as he parked his car. He looked at the blue mail box in the front of the store and remembered, "I need to drop some work stuff in the mail that I never really remembered to send." He gestured to the backseat that was a mess of stuff, and grabbed a stack of envelopes.

Rory raised her eyebrows at the stack, "Let's hope those aren't all electricity bills."

"Well, probably not _all_ of them," Jess said. Rory smiled and went inside the store. He lazily walked up to the mailbox and dropped the envelopes in. He turned around, but bumped full force into the person behind him. "Whoa."

"Sorry," the other guy muttered.

Jess backed up and looked at the tall guy. A massively tall guy that he recognized.

Dean looked rather surprised. Jess just remained stony-faced.

They both just silently looked at each other. Jess's hands were shoved apathetically in his pockets and Dean clutched the bag of groceries in his hand with a ridiculous force. Jess sighed, but he slowly lifted his hand from his side and held it out. Dean begrudgingly returned the gestured and firmly shook his hand. No distaste dissipated between them, but it needed to be done.

Dean looked from Rory inside the store to Jess. Then he averted his eyes to the ground, silently walked over to his blue truck, and pulled away.

"Okay I got them," Rory said as she came out holding two plastic covered, yellow dresses.

"You went with yellow?" Jess said with a little surprise in his tone and a smirk.

"Why are you surprised? You know, you're the one that suggested it."

"Hence the surprise."

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

Rory walked into her house and saw her mother sitting on the couch eyes glued to the television. "Hey why didn't you call me if you're watching a movie."

"One, this is just a 'nothing else was on and I got hooked' movie watching till Luke and April get here since they're currently doing this father daughter bonding thing. Two, I did call you, where you been?"

"Picked up the dresses, like you said, then I just read until it got dark outside."

"Your car's still here."

"It ran out of gas. Jess gave me a ride since he had some stuff he needed to get on the way anyway."

"Oh," Lorelai now turned and looked at Rory with interest, "Okay. Right."

"What you watching?" Rory said as she took a seat next to her mother on the couch.

"Gone With the Wind," Lorelai paused, "I want chips."

"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."

"Oh harty-har-har. Fine, I'll get them myself," Lorelai said as she got up and went to the kitchen.

Rory turned her eyes to Scarlet O' Hara and Rhett Butler on the screen, but there was a weird feeling in her head. It was like this reminded her of something, but she had no idea what.

"_Oh Rhett, do listen to me, I must have love you for years, only I was such a stupid fool, I didn't know it. Please believe me, you must care! Melly said you did._

"_I believe you. What about Ashley Wilkes?"_

"_I…I never really loved Ashley."_

"_You certainly did a damn good imitation of it, up till this morning. No Scarlett, I tried everything."_

Something vaguely stirred in her memory that she could not place. "Scarlett you bitch," Rory muttered as she zoned back in and turned back to the movie.

"_Oh, Rhett, Rhett please don't say that. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry for everything."_

"_My darling, you're such a child. You think that by saying I'm sorry all the past can be corrected."_

Something stirred in her memory.

"_I swear. The Kurt to my Courtney. The Westley to my Buttercup. The Rhett to my Scarlett. The Tony to my Maria. The Luke to my Lorelai! I swear you are!"_

She realized the echoing thoughts as her own words. With this small recollection, the rest of her memories seemed to piece by piece follow suit. "Oh my god."


	8. Shooting the Bull

**A/N:** Sorry for the wait, I suck, but at no point ever think I would not update. School sucks, and this is a really defining chapter so it wasn't something I could just do between homework. The reviews motivate me so much, you don't even know, they kept me writing through the night. I hope it was worth the wait? If it is not good enough, or whatever enough, I'm truly sorry. Please review, it means a lot to me.

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

Rory's eyes hazed over. Not a word further of the movie registered in her head, different scenes were replaying in her mind. She heard her mother's concerned voice quietly behind her much louder thoughts.

"Rory?" Lorelai asked with growing concern as she looked at Rory. "You went from zero to 'who died' in about two seconds." Rory continued to stare ahead of herself. "Rory say something," Lorelai said with a note of anxiety.

"Jess," she whispered softly.

"Okay, now I'm going to be honest, not what I wanted to hear, but continue please," Lorelai said quickly as she sat down next to Rory.

"I messed up."

"On what?" Lorelai said with enlarged worry.

"I told him," Rory's volume shrunk as if someone would listen in, "I told him all this stuff."

"Hon, what stuff? And when did you tell him?" Lorelai asked now gratefully grabbing onto the hint of what's going on.

"When I was drunk! All this stuff! All this horrible…stuff!" She said too ashamed to specify as she threw her hands in the air then sunk into the couch.

"Horrible stuff?" Lorelai pondered with confusion.

"All this idiotic stuff! Like I _love_ him and he's the Luke to my Lorelai! Like he's the Wesley to my Buttercup! Like he's the Tony to my Maria! Like he's the Kurt to my Courtney! Like he's the Rhett to my Scarlett! Oh my _god_, I'm an _idiot_."

Lorelai stared, completely thrown. "Oh, um, well…"

"I have to go," Rory said as she got up now composing herself, but her voice still cracking.

"You _wh_at?"

"Go…have to go…" Rory said with her voice becoming meeker by the second as she got up off the couch and paced in a line, she wanted to show Lorelai her firm decision, but her weak tone would always betray her. "I need to go" she said her voice now growing high and her words growing rapid.

Lorelai just stared, unable to speak. Too many words forming on her lips that one would not come out. It was an overload of information, she said the only thing that she could think of, "Think about what you're doing." Though, she knew Rory was far beyond that stage. Rory's fingers grasped the doorknob when she heard her mom speak again, "You know some of those weren't the greatest references in the world," Lorelai added bluntly.

Rory paused as she slowly turned her head toward the television screen where the door had just slammed on Scarlet O'Hara's face. "I'll be back in a little bit."

Lorelai didn't look as she heard the sound of the door closing. She leaned back and turned her eyes to the ceiling with a sigh.

The door soon reopened and she smiled at Luke as he entered. "Where's April?"

"Sitting in my truck finishing up a book on something or another, don't worry she's on the last few pages. Though, she said she won't be able to rest till she finishes it, go figure," Luke said with a shrug, but then started with confusion, "Why is Rory sprinting down the street?"

"Well I thought Fattie McCakelover could do some good with a jog around the block," Luke continued to look at her with confusion, "Luke?"

"Yeah?"

"You're like the Luke to my Lorelai," Lorelai said kindly, but Luke's confusion did nothing but deepen.

"What?"

"You are the _Luke_ to my _Lorelai_.," she annunciated to make herself clear trying to make Luke see the self-explanatory nature of what she was saying.

Luke decided this was one of those things he would never understand, like cherishing snow, but he accepted it without understanding it. "I guess that's good."

"It really is."

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

She started out in a sprint, but her speed and hurry gradually lessened as she realized her dread. The option of pretending she never remembered now seemed brighter by the moment. Rory came to a halt as the fire of the moment that possessed her began to fade and the panic of what she was doing settled in its place.

Rory came to the realization that she was standing in front of the diner's door. It was closed, he must have closed early, now she couldn't just casually go in and decide she was just really hungry which is why she ran here. If he hadn't seen her, it wasn't too late to turn back.

At this thought, the door swung open. She didn't even realize she opened the door. She then looked at her arms and realized they were still at her side. She hadn't opened the door.

Rory looked at the woman who had opened the door. She was smiling broadly and had ragged blonde hair. She spoke with an excitement, "Rory! Really _good_ to see you!"

Rory continued to stare at her with surprise, "Um, I…uh…Liz?"

Liz paid no attention to her babbling and greeted her warmly, "My Doula just points to the door and says 'Rory!' and I was thrilled to see that there you are! I've heard _good _things about your journey," She laughed heartily, "Oh don't just stand there, come on, come on. You know I hear Doula sometimes asks Jess where you are, she is _fond_ of you." The woman said a matter-of-factly as she hoisted Doula into her arms who was widely smiling at Rory.

Rory was still a bit thrown by the enthusiasm, but managed to wave back to Doula as she robotically followed Liz. "Oh…I…" The ability to form words were lost.

"She's very fond of Jess too," she said just as matter-of-factly. "She just loves him. And her Uncle Luke, she adores Luke. I'm just glad she's so happy. She just has a joy for everything and everyone."

"Like her brother through and through," Rory said with a slight hint of hesitant humor, glad to have finally formed words.

She smiled brightly at Rory, "You're such a funny one! Like your mother of course!" She paused then threw her hands up in the air and restarted, "You know we've never met in more than passing, but I'm just going with the assumption that you know me, but I probably seem way nutty if you don't."

"Oh, no not at all I--"

"I just get ahead of myself with excitement when I get an opportunity to get to know someone," she explained, "Isn't that just the greatest opportunity you can be given?" She didn't wait for an answer, "It is, it _really_ is!"

"Sure," Rory said timidly, "And don't worry about it, I knew who you were before you knew who I was. My mom's friend and future sister-in-law, Luke's sister…Jess's mom. Plus, this isn't exactly a busy city, you could never leave your house and board up your window and this whole town would know who you are."

Liz placed Doula down who shakily walked over to Rory. Rory lifted her up and turned back to Liz who continued with regained enthusiasm, "Sit, sit, something to drink? I can make coffee. That is if I'm not keeping you from something. Ah I'm just so rude, are you busy with something, Hon?"

"No not at all, coffee is good," Rory said pleasantly as she put two chairs down then sat with Doula bouncing silently on her lap. She was slowly composing herself. She didn't mind staying and chatting but she remembered why she had run here full speed with nerves racking at her, "Um where's Jess?"

"You actually think you just missed him, I haven't seen him. Were you looking for him?" she asked as she poured coffee.

Rory fumbled over words as she tried to decide what the best answer would be, "Oh, um yeah, but just because…I…because…," On the spot fabrication was not her talent.

"I would have thought you came here to close up because Luke said you probably would today, but I said I can do it for today so he and April can go see Lorelai."

Rory cursed under her breath, now that's what she should've said. She must not have a brain. She was the scarecrow.

"But anyway, was it something important?"

"No way, not at all, definitely not_," _Rory said with overly big hand dismissals. "It wasn't important. It was absolutely…" Rory searched for a word, "trifling. And you know what I think I just forgot what I even wanted to say. So if you were to see him no need to mention that I was looking because it was just that…"

"Trifling?" Liz suggested as she studied Rory's apprehensiveness.

"Sure," Rory said with a sigh as she realized the strange look she was on the receiving end of.

"Uh huh…" Liz set a cup of coffee in front of Rory and looked at her and Doula, "You know, I hope her big brother comes back to see her now and then. He avoids this town like the plague; he won't come within a ten mile radius! He only comes back here for Luke. Though he calls now and he almost seems to be listening when I tell him how I am, I mean that's already more of a relationship than I've pretty much has with him at any other point of my life."

Rory blandly nodded, but really was listening. She just had no input on the matter; she always knew Jess grew up in an entirely different lifestyle, but it wasn't something she thought about. Now Rory studied Liz, Rory realized Liz seemed compelled to talk for some reason.

"Ah I'm just randomly dumping this all on you. I'm so sorry! I'm a little tipsy," Liz whispered the last sentence as if it were a secret, "Just a little, and it's not a regular thing or anything. I can think straight, walk straight, and do a bunch of other stuff, all straight. And even this kind of thing isn't regular, really" Liz affirmed.

"I didn't think it was at all," Rory assured her. Though, this explained this sudden need to open up to someone who she barely even knew. The initial shock of coming to the diner looking for Jess and finding his mom who was just a little bit drunk was fading and her conversational skills were returning slowly and steadily.

"I mean I just want to do it right this time you know. I've got the old quaint house in a nice town, the whole nuclear family unit, the entire picket fenced package. It's like a Pleasantville redux, in a good way."

"Of course."

Liz stopped and sipped her coffee. "I'm just glad that Jess turned out fine even though he didn't have any of that. I think Luke did good for him, but you know Luke always said that a big part of it all is you, the relatively new found direction in his life."

While she had heard the very words of 'I couldn't have done it without you,' come out of Jess's mouth, she didn't fully believe it even though she knew he did. It was just a further extension of the kind of hopeless romanticism that dates back to the foundation of their relationship, the kind of hopeless romanticism that could be novelized and cried over. "It's nice to think." Rory paused, but meekly continued though was more in conversation with herself. "Though, the biggest part of it is him. I mean he can do anything, I always knew he could. It's nothing that wasn't there already. He's just…brilliant. He's--"

Rory cut herself off as she noticed Liz surveying her with raised eyebrows, and had very obviously noticed something in her tone just as Rory had noticed it herself. She turned beet red on the spot. She almost could have recovered from this if her face wasn't so red she could feel the burn of the heat. She then felt a wetness against her arm.

Rory had forgotten Doula who had been sitting lazily on her lap. Doula's eyes were shut with her face buried in the crook of Rory's arm, where she also saw the wet drool. She hadn't even felt Doula reposition herself.

"Aw, it's way past bedtime for Doula!" Liz said as she got up and transferred Doula into her own arms. "I need to get home. It's been a good talk Rory."

Rory nodded and gestured to the table, "I can clean this up before I go; you get Doula to bed."

"Goodnight Rory," Doula mumbled groggily, but with her relentless joy none the less.

"Goodnight Doula," Rory said. Hey eyes jumped as she saw the door open and who had just stepped through the door.

Jess took a quick glance around the diner as he stepped in, then did a questioning double take.

"Jess!" Liz said enthusiastically, "Me and Rory were just shooting the bull over here, she just came by, to close up," she cast a sidelong glance at Rory, "But as I was saying I have to get Doula to bed. Rory, Hon, when you get home can you give this to Luke, just some stuff for him to pick up when he goes to the market."

"Grocery list?" Rory inquired as she took the small piece of paper.

"Don't say it like that when you give it to him," Liz turned to Jess, "You need to come by tomorrow, alright?"

Jess nodded then looked at Doula who was brightly smiling and saying, "Goodnight Jess!" He just smiled in return, which really was quite the gesture for him.

Liz exited and the remaining two stood silent. Jess was as nonchalant as ever and Rory looked from the floor to the ceiling to Jess. Her stomach turned. "Your mom's nice," she said dumbly. He raised his eyebrows and studied her, she knew he had picked up on her nervousness.

"Huh," Jess studied her for a second with confusion, he didn't understand the sudden nervousness. It was making him a little nervous, but he left his front as casual as ever. "Want help closing up?"

"What?"

"You're closing up right?" She thought about the question too long.

"Oh, yeah, I'm closing up," she said hesitantly, but then mustered conviction, "Yeah, I'm closing up, because that's why I'm here."

"Okay then," he said with a mild amusement and he watched her turn a thousand shades of red. He didn't get it.

Rory picked up the empty coffee cups and walked over to the counter to find the dish tray. Though before she found it she stopped at the counter and set the cups down. She sighed and turned on her heel with conviction. She looked at Jess putting up the chairs on the table her and Liz were sitting at.

"What?" he said as he turned and noticed her.

Her knees turned to jell-o beneath her. "Jess." She took a couple of steps forward.

"Yeah?"

"I...I…" She paused. She wanted to slap herself, she was more eloquent at the age of seventeen. Six years later, valedictorian of her high school, Yale graduate, and campaign reporter she fumbled over her words like an idiot. She laughed with dry humor and managed a truly genuine grin. Her worries suddenly turned into joke, she stood firmly, and her voice was clear and hid every trace of hesitance, "Isn't it weird that even when I was drunk I could think up a West Side Story reference because I remembered you have this weird fetish for it?"

Jess clenched his jaw but didn't look up. He heard the door swing shut.

**OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

As she opened the door three heads snapped back to look at her.

"Hey Babe," Lorelai said trying to gauge her mood.

"Rory, hey," Luke said with a smile.

"Hi Rory," April said brightly.

"Hi," she said breathlessly as she tried her best to smile at each of them, but it looked a bit forced. She walked over to Luke, dug into her pocket and pulled out a small sheet of paper and handed it to him. "Groceries for Liz," she said with what was nearing a grunt. "Goodnight guys," she said dully as she walked off sullenly and watched her in silence.

"I'll be right back," Lorelai said as she got up and followed Rory to her room. "Rory?"

"Mom. Hey."

"You're not going to watch the movie with us?" Lorelai said as she took a seat next to Rory on her bed.

"Sorry, I'm just so tired. I mean I want to, but I'm just tired. I just want to go to sleep. Tell Luke and April that I wanted to?"

"Sure, Hon. Do you want to talk?"

"About what?"

"I, um, I don't know."

"Luke and April are waiting, go. I'm fine. I'm just tired." Lorelai looked at her hesitantly. "You know I tell you everything eventually. I went there looking for him and I came back with his mom's grocery list that should tell you something. I don't even know why I went, I was possessed. I had a stroke."

"A stroke…" Lorelai repeated with recognition of the familiar words. Lorelai smiled at her comfortingly. "Goodnight."

Rory smiled reassuringly, "Goodnight."

The door closed and her face fell instantaneously. She lay back on her bed and stared at the ceiling. She wasn't that tired.


End file.
